I am sitting down at my computer and my Buffalogal website (obviously…DUH)
to temporarily get away from “keeping house” and all its frustrations.
The first shocking frustration came way back in 1976 after we moved into a brand- newly- built house that was just perfect for our family. I was horrified when I realized that this new house would not stay clean and sparkley all by itself because it was “New”.
Over the many years since that shock, I have learned that people living in a house..any house…cause messes and dust and crumbs on floors and other nasty discoveries for one who “keeps house”
I have always done it myself except for one year when I had a “cleaning lady” but she dropped something hard in one bathroom sink and a big hole in the ceramic sink appeared. She said nothing about it although it was fairly obvious who did it. (I did not renew her contract such as it was.)
So from then on I faced it all alone.
I thought that after our children were grown up and moved out things would be miraculously better but I was in for another shock…..the remaining TWOSOME were just as messy as the children.
I have developed thoeries about this phenomenon of houses that get messed up and have to be “kept” by housekeepers like me.
1. The more interests you have, the messier your house gets. (this is my excuse for the haphazard detritus that constantly accumulates)
2. If you use a central table for “putting things down on” you will have the appearance of a constant mess in your home.
3. People who always have a neat, clean house make others (who do not) feel very inferior, lazy, disorganized, inadequate, ad. nauseum.
4. Bathrooms that have countertops will always be a big mess. This can only be avoided by having an old – fashioned bathroom sink that stands alone but I am not so sure a sink like that can be kept nice and neat either.
5. An oven can hide a big pile of dirty dishes when you hit a crisis (like a phone call from friends who are going to drop in… you have not seen them for years and the last time you saw them they had a perfect house.)
6. Buying a lot of clothes-baskets can make “picking up stuff” (also in a crisis situation) a real shortcut for real “keeping house”.
7. You must have a room or area out of sight for putting the clothes baskets that are full of picked up “stuff”.
8. It is not fun to unload either the oven full of dirty dishes or the clothes-baskets full of stuff after the crisis has passed.
(SIDELIGHT: When I lived with my parents before I left home we had what we called “The Fibber Closet” which was named for Fibber McGee’s closet that he always opened on the radio show of years ago and Molly would shout “Oh NO MCGEE..not that door!” Then the sound effects crew created a huge crash of all sorts of metal, wood, glass and other breakable material. Listeners back then waited for Fibber to open that closet…and we loved calling our “stuff it all in- closet” the Fibber Closet.
I have never had a Fibber Closest in any of the places I have lived since my 1960 marriage and the years that have passed. (I have always wished I had one.)
9. Coat closets not used for coats can become sort of Fibber Closets.
10. Little cabins ( apart from a house) can be made into storage areas for unnecessary collections of old glassware like old malted milk glasses, old tulip sundae dishes, old glass banana split dishes and old pickle and relish dishes and also creamers and sugar bowls.
Mkaing this list of things I have learned about BAD HOUSEKEEPING are making me feel very downhearted.
I might as well give in the urge to do “human hibernation” in such cold Januaries and Februaries and even Marches if it stays cold, if it snows, and if it is cloudy a lot of the days.
But I do have to bring a lot of “stuff” that has been stored in a hallway since Christmas to its proper places….but that will make my knees ache (two flight of stairs and 3 storied house)
There must be some new MURPHY’S LAWS for such things as I have been going on and on about in this blog…..??????
I almost totally forgot about the breakage part of this rant….my small vacuum cleaner (the one I used for upholstery and corners, etc.) got a broken hose connection(plastic) and I am a bit hot under the collar about it..it was not a cheap vacuum cleaner and it broke before I had it for 5 years. I intend to go back to the business where I bought it and make a lot of waves, especially if they say I would be better off buying a new vacuum.
There wil be volcanic fireworks if that topic is raised.