A NEW STUDY REVEALS WHY SOME MARRIAGES LAST!

A study from Norway has some stunning results.

In the London DAILY TELEGRAPH from September 27 2012:
” Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than those where the woman do the lion’s share of the chores….
In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate 50 percent higher among couples who shared housework equality than among those where the womern did most of the work.”

Well, that explains all those 50-60 – 65 year wedding anniversary announcements we read in the CELEBRATIONS pages each Sunday in the FORUM!!!
Those women are WORKHORSES!!!! (so are the men but probably at things other than housework.)
A lot of us fit into that Long Marriage category and when I think about it, the women I know who are also in that marriage years range…. DO take care of a lot or most of the household chores.
We started out as young couples and the husband was the traditionally honored provider for his wife and children.
The wife was the one who stayed home and took care of the home, the kids, the bills, the yardwork that she was capable of (no heavy lifting of course) and also was resposible for seeing to it that the kids got to and from school and also from any after – school sports, drama, music or other activities.
She also did the grocery shopping , the menu planning, the cooking, the cleaning up after the meals and was also in charge of all holiday entertaining. She packed the picnic lunches, got all the towels and swimming suits and water gear organized, and usually fed the pets and got them settled before the family departed for a day of fun in the sun.
(this was also repeated when the family went on vacation or away for a weekend..the weekend trips often involved a picnic cooler full of food that could be eaten in a motel so they could save money by not eating out all the time.
HE was in charge of getting the cars maintained so the MOM could transport the kids to places they needed to go.
HE often did car maintenance in the garage to save money….easy repairs, oil changes. HE usually mowed the lawn and trimmed hedges and did some gardening..but not the vegetable or flower gardening (?) HE drove when the family traveled (usually) and SHE kept the peace when the kids fidgeted and asked every 2 minutes “when will we get there….(1. to Gramma and Grampa’s (2. to the lake (3. to the motel (4. to the big town shopping center (5. to the basketball/football /baseball/track/
soccer games.
It was a cooperative effort between
HUSBAND AND WIFE—-and it worked well for the couples who did not get divorced from totally sharing all household jobs…all of the above included.
I know the divorce rate among younger generations is higher than my generation..but that could be due to a lot of factors other than sharing household chores. My generation had the “committment” factor in us: when we married it was truly FOR BETTER OR WORSE..and sometimes if the WORSE got unbearable there was a divorce..but it was often after the children were grown up and out of the nest.
I suspect there were a lot of “psychological divorces” among those in the older generations that stayed together “for the sake of the kids.”

Google the article: “Couples who share housework are more likely to divorce, study finds”
(London DAILY TELGRAPH, Sept 27 2012)

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5 Comments »

 
  • remrafdn says:

    Divorce was not an option. Murder? Maybe.

    • Avatar of Kay Syvrud Kay Syvrud says:

      Oh you are so clever Rem. That is what Billy Graham’s wife said when she told Phil Donahue (years ago) that she had never considered divorce but she had thought of murder!
      I may have thought of murder a few times too and I know my D.B. has thought of it too.

  • Avatar of Jon Lindgren Jon Lindgren says:

    We’ve only been married 50 years. If only I’d refused to do house keeping, it would have been longer.

    • Avatar of Kay Syvrud Kay Syvrud says:

      Well what advice can I give you Jon? You started out all wrong 50 years ago by helping with housework; you are terrribly
      fortunate that your marriage has lasted so long (tongue in cheek humor) I could only advise you to go back to changing the oil, doing the yard and snow chores, building you airplane, and managing the checkbook… and other MAN things and notify E. that she has to go back to traditional womanly chores!!! (rotsa ruck!!)
      I started out wrong by pitying my graduate student husband and doing EVERYTHING in the small student living quarters we occupied.
      We have been married for 52 years so the theory applies to us (for only one couple)

  • Please don’t tell my husband that we are in real trouble..we share the housework:)

 

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