I have neglected the awarding of the “Buffie” awards for too long. The last ones were given out in 2008 and so it is again time!
The “Buffies” are named after me…Buffalogal. They give me a chance to vent and release some of my volcanic sarcasm about matters in and out of the news. I have to depart from my usual calm, sweet, harmless dispostion to hand out the Buffies but so be it. A woman can only take so much stifling….I think that is an Edith Bunker quote from sometime in the 1970′s.
The Buffie awards are somewhat similar to the Obies, the Emmys, the Grammies and the Innies and the Outies (bellybutton awards).
So let the Buffies begin for 2010. There might have to be a series of Buffies given out over a period of time…but these are the very first ones for 2010.
THE FILTHY BARNYARD BRAWL BUFFIE: this one goes to Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino…the two candidates for the governor’s office in New York state. Carl Paladino surprised everyone by winning the Republican primary over party favored Rick Lazio and Carl has been slinging mud ever since that night last week when he upset the party candidate. Andrew Cuomo is the Democrat in the race and has been blindsided by the attacks launched at him by Paladino. The curious thing in this triangle (Lazio-Cuomo-Paladino) is that all three of them sound like they could have come out of Sicily or Italy and then we have to ponder the possible Mafia shadows over these candidates. But we shall leave it for now and get on to the “Barnyard Brawl” Buffie. It is shared equally by Cuomo and Paladino. Each of them have run a couple of down- and- dirty- TV ads against each other. Paladino’s ad showed a real picture of Cuomo soaping himself in a shower…showing off his hairy chest but nothing else, thankfully. He is scrubbing vigorously to to get mud blobs off his body…. all with political labels that New Yorkers can understand. Cuomo’s ad against Paladino features Carl’s head superimposed on a swill-slurping pig. Paladino has pulled out the stops on questioning Cuomo’s manhood also, saying that Andrew “doesn’t have the “cojones” to face him (Paladino) in a debate.
Paladino also makes reference to Andrew Cuomo’s reliance on Daddy, Mario to give him all sorts of boosts up his political ladder. Carl advises Andrew that “it is time to stop riding your daddy’s coattails”
It is a filthy Barnyard Brawl for sure and both men richly deserve this “Buffie”.
THE SPOIL-SPORT BUFFIE: this one is awarded to Lisa Murkowski and Mike Castle jointly because a decision could not be made about who is the biggest Spoil Sport in recent politics. Murkowski of Alaska lost her primary race to a Tea Party candidate named Miller and Castle lost in Massachussetts to upsetter Christine O’ Donnell. Both losers are whining and blubbering about being rejected by the voters of their states; Murkowski has petulantly launched a “write in campaign” for her seat in the Senate which she is loathe to give up. Castle is attacking O’ Donnell at every opportunity and trying to undermine her campaign for a Massachussetts senate seat. This could also be called the “Ruling Class” Buffie since both Murkowski and Castle seem to think that only they deserve to be elected. Each one will also get a huge 5- pound sour pickle as well as the Buffie award.
THE “PULL YOUR FOOT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH” BUFFIE: Harry Reid..the maybe-big loser in the Nevada senate race.. gets this award. Reid is almost as good as committing gaffes as Vice President Joe Biden..although Biden gave Reid a run for his money by saying he was “second in command” to President Obama the other day.
But back to Harry’s gaffe problems: His most recent foot- in- mouth incident was calling Kristen Gillbrand, the senator from New York “the hottest member” of the senate. Reid, a liberal, seems to not have a problem with being a flat- out sexist but he would despise anyone else who made such a comment…might even file a lawsuit against such a Gaffer if it were a Republican member of the senate. But not him, boy! He also famously said that Barack Obama was “light-skinned” and did not have a “Negro dialect” when Obama was running for president. Reid also judged Townhall protestors during the summer of 2009 as “evil mongers”. In 1998, Reid accused his then-opponent, John Ensign of being incompetent when he stated that Ensign “shouldn’t interpret the consitution because he (Ensign) was a Veterinarian”. It might have been even worse if Harry had gaffed and called him a “vegetarian”.
THE GERMAN SHEPHERD/PITBULL WATCHDOG BUFFIE goes to Michelle Obama (FLOTUS) for her role as the national German Shepherd looking out for obese children and consumers of junk food, salt, sugar and other bad things. Last summer she very publicly planted a garden at the WhiteHouse grounds for fresh organic vegetables. It featured arugula…a vegetable I am unfamilar with but it must be potent and politically correct. If only she could get her husband to eat it instead of those cheeseburgers he eats with Joe Biden; Michelle also never mentions her husband’s failure to give up his cigarette habit…but recently she came out with the recommendation that all babies should be breast fed because breastfeeding will prevent obesity later on in life. I think she is wrong on this one….she is the type that likes to suck on American taxpayers money… but some of the fattest babies I have ever seen were breast fed babies, including my own three. I was a fat breast fed baby also and I am still kind of a chunky adult so there goes that theory of obesity prevention. She still gets the Buffie award though. She IS definitely bred to be a watchdog.
THE “I DON’T KNOW AND I DON’T CARE BUT I WILL TRY TO FIND THE ANSWER” BUFFIE goes to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. He also should get a GOLDEN GLOVES SPARRING buffie for his many rounds with the Press since he became Obama’s press spokesman. His “I Don’t Know” answers to questions from the press must exceed several thousand by this time in the presidency. He also has not “found out” about a thousand times as well. But he is good at sparring and sneering and smearing and other negative attributes not seen in former Press Secretaries.
THE BIGGEST LOSERS BUFFIE: Katie Couric and Brian Williams share this award. (and you thought I was talking about weight!) No …ABC, CBS and NBC nightly news reports have now totalled a composite loss of 739,000 news viewers. Oh for the days of Chet and David and Walter Cronkite and Eric Severeid! But those were REAL newsmen…Brian, Katie and others on the regular channels are some sort of shills for partisan political views. No wonder the American people are dropping like flies from viewing these empty Shells of newscasters. Oh well, they get a big Buffie award out of it.
There will be more Buffies in the near future as soon as I can collect worthy winners for them.
But that is it for Round One in 2010.