CAN YOU TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS?

The new areavoices.com changes have thrown this Old Dog for a really big loopy-de-loop. With help from a Forum guru named Lindsey I just might be able to post again!
This will be short but it is still a post!
I was thinking about some funny “sayings” I have heard from people I know and love. I also thought up some “personalized licenses” for people I do NOT know and I do not like them very much either!
First the adages: From my dearly loved late brother in law, Arden:
“Rode hard and put away wet” ( a folksy description of being totally tired or exhausted)
Another one he used frequently was “drug through a knothole backward” to describe the same sort of weary condition. That one is very descriptive and pretty funny when you think about it.
I heard a preacher I know say many years ago that many Christians are not very cheerful in their faith. The way he put it was they look “like they have been sucking golf balls out of a gopher hole,” I still get the giggles when I think about it…..I sat in a pew at the church and shook the seat for many minutes feeling unable to let out a loud guffaw which I wanted to do! Instead I shook the wooden pew violently with my suppressed laughter.
Then here are some “personalized license plates for irritating drivers: See if you can translate them; many are way too long for a real license plate but I did them anyway. Try to picture an extreme long plate manufactured just for these personalized plates:
1. I M TXTG
2. LK OUT 4 ME
3. CL PHN USER
4. DNGR-TXTR
5. I DNT SGNL
6. I VR NTO OTHR LNS
7. NT PYNG ATN
8. PTG N MKP
9. LSY DRVR
10. BLND DRVR
Number 10 could be interpreted “blond” or “blind’ but I meant “blind” since so many drive like they are.
We shall now see if I succesfully made an entry on the new system!

Published by

Kay Syvrud

I am a retired elementary "schoolmarm"..I was a school librarian/media director for nearly 25 years before I retired in 2004. Naturally one of my fondest things is reading! I also love reading aloud to young children, something I did for so many years with amazing results; every child wants to read the same book as the teacher read!!!! I also am fond of my gardens...both flower beds and vegetable plots. I love being outdoors....mowing the lawn after my husband has done so with a big lawn tractor...I trim with my small power mower! I have a rain barrel to collect rainwater for plants! I have an old fashioned "pedal" bike I love to ride. I enjoy going to a Silver Sneakers class at a community center about 20 miles from my country home on what I call the "Buffalo Bluff" which overlooks the Buffalo River and its valley below. I LOVE to write and am working on a book for my grandkids so they will always know more about Grandma when she was still "kickin" and "had all her marbles"!!!!