Buffalo Gal

I just read Donovan Moser’s letter to the editor today (January 31) in reply to another letter writer who had criticized the Fargo Schools’ decision to cancel out- of- town trips in the extreme cold weather a couple of weeks ago.  Moser thanked the school officials for making that decision in light of the life-threatening temperatures and the "dress code" which apparently makes the students wear what my generation called "skimpy clothes".  I take it to mean that the boys  and the girls on athletic teams or cheerleading squads must wear dressy outfits which could include nice dress-up shoes , suits or nice sweaters and dress pants or perhaps (could it be?) skirts for the girls????      

I would venture to guess that there is no "dress code" for extreme cold weather or even winter.  What a difference 5 decades makes in school rules and regulations about bus travel in winter weather.   I am reluctant (but not reluctant enough) to tell what the "old days were like" in my high school days in the mid-1950′s and those of you who shared those times will remember it like I do.     Bus trips for anything in the winter had strong, non-challenge-able rules:    1.  You had to have a written permission paper from your parent(s) to even set foot on the school bus.    2.  You had to have signed up on a sheet in the school office nearly a week in advance to be on a "spectator bus" (maybe there is no such thing anymore but there were in "those days".)    3.  You could not get on the bus unless you were wearing:  (a)  warm winter boots (you could not be carrying them..they had to be ON your feet   (b)  a woolen scarf or a woolen stocking cap    (c)  a warm winter jacket or coat  (d) long, warm-enough slacks or pants , and  (d)  warm mittens or gloves.   I cannot remember if there was a "long john" rule but I know a lot of kids wore them as a routine thing in the winter’s cold weather.

The last time I checked out school bus attire in the winter, when I was still teaching in a public school and had, as one of my assignments, "bus duty" in the afternoons when the students boarded the buses for home….many of the students had gotten off the bus in the morning with NO WINTER JACKET OR COAT on….they had left home without a warm coat and still could get on the bus!!!     I rarely saw any warm winter boots—except on elementary kids who were sent out for recess at mid-day.   There were few caps or hats or scarves in sight, on the high school kids.

It is apparent from the earlier Michelle Richardson letter to the editor that modern parents think their kids should get on buses in all sorts of inclement weather and travel to faraway towns and cities so as not to miss one precious "game"….the below zero weather be "danged"….. I would also think that the "modern" parents would have a major fit if their precious darlings were told that they could not get on a bus….at any time in the winter…unless they had to follow the sort of clothing rules that we Senior Cits. followed unquestionly in the days gone by.  Our parents would not have thought of complaining about school decisions regarding cold weather bus travel—our parents trusted the school officials and did not start a petition drive if students had to obey a dress code or, heaven forbid, had " assigned seating" on a school bus.

Gone are those days!   Now too many parents want to TELL the school officials what to do and when to do it….school teachers and school administrators are automatically "dumb" or unable to make decisions about students’ welfare….especially if that school decision conflicts with the parents’ views.

I think perhaps Bobby Knight was right about teaching and coaching in orphanages after all!

I cannot resist quoting Monica Crowley’s January 29 blog.  It is an imagined phone conversation between Bill and Hillary shortly before Ted Kennedy endorsed Barack Obama. Hillary in Tennessee on  Sunday morning, and calls Bill who is Who Knows Where.

HER:  Bill, wake up you (Horses’ Butt). Get whoever you’ve got there with you the (heck) outta there and listen up.  We’ve got a huge (freakin’) crisis here.     HIM: (Gosh dang it) Hillree.  Do you know how (freakin’) early it is?    HER:  Listen, (Horse’s Butt).  Ted Kennedy is about to endorse Obama.  I cannot believe what an ungrateful (horse’s butt) he is. After all the (gosh-danged) stuff we’ve done for him!  The washed up (freakin’) (horse’s butt) is pulling himself out of the (freakin) bar long enough to endorse somebody ELSE!!!   HIM: (whispering to someone else): I’ll be right with you, Baby…don’t go.  HER: BILL! Who the (freak) are you talking to?  We’ve got a crisis here and all you can think about is Mr. Happy? You are unbelievable!   HIM:  I’m sorry Honey, what are you saying?   HER:  Shut Up! Just get on the horn with Kennedy and hold a (freakin) gun to his head.  Show me you are good for something besides (sleeping with) half of America!

Sunday afternoon:  Bill- Lord Knows Where, calling Senator Ted Kennedy:   BILL:  Teddy!  Great to hear your voice!     TED:  Mr. President?    BILL: Rootin’ for the Patriots. eh? That Brady is somethin’ else!  TED: Yes he is.    BILL: Goin’ to the big game?   TED: No Mr. President.  BILL: I hear ya…I’d rather watch it on the big screen myself with a coupla beers.     SILENCE FALLS        BILL: So listen, I heard this crazy rumor that you were thinkin’ about endorsing Obama.  Surely your are too smart a man to fall for his BS.  I know I can go back to Hillree and tell her you’re on board, right?   TED: Actually, Mr. President, I am going to announce my support for Senator Obama tomorrow.   BILL: Oh Ted, you crack me up. Have you thought about pitchin’ a show to Comedy Central?  Seriously, how can you go for a guy who doesn’t have the first clue about anything.  Hillree has been around the block. She knows Washington and she knows the world of work.  There’s no learning curve with her.  Besides, did you know Obama is black?    TED: With all due respect, Mr. President,I have been deeply offended by the way you and Senator Clinton have injected race into this campaign. You have smeared a good and decent man, a man who reminds me a lot of my brothers.   BILL: Oh please, you’re not falling for that old claptrap, are you?   TED: Mr. President, I have found your treatment of Senator Obama—dismissing him as a "fairy tale", as Jesse Jackson—despicable.   BILL: That’s rich comin’ from you…you should be in prison for murder rather than kingmaking in the 2008 election.   TED: Mr. President, I am supporting Senator Obama. End of story.  And if I could offer you some advice, tone it down.  Stop with the racial (stuff).  And try to be a semi-dignified ex-president.  BILL: I’m very disappointed in you Ted.  You’d better hope Hillree doesn’t get to be president.  You won’t know what hit you.   TED: Is that a threat?   BILL: No it’s a promise.  TED: Is there anything else?    BILL: Could you at least endorse Mr. Edwards instead?

Monday afternoon Hillary on the campaign trail, calling Bill, who is Lord knows where:

HER:  Did you SEE that?  Did you see those turncoat, son-of-a (female dog) Kennedys endorse Obama?  It looked like a (freakin) ticker tape parade!   HIM:  Ted cleans up well.  HER: All of their "he’s the new Camelot" (stuff) makes me want to puke.  And you, you (Horse’s Butt) You couldn’t stop it! What good are you to  me?  I should dump your (butt) right now!   HIM:  Go ahead Honey!  Do me the favor.  Let’s see how well you do out there without me.  My guess is that you’ll last about 5 minutes.  HER:  OH really?  All your (freaking) strategies have screwed this up beyond belief!  HIM:  I only have so much to work with, sweetheart. HER: Now you’ve got Al Sharpton telling you to "Shut up"—and on "The View" of all places.  FIX THIS!!!      HIM:  I’m on it, Baby….I’m on it.

Monica, you hit it out of the ballpark!!!

"remrafdn" commented on the blog before this one and mentioned attending a wing-ding of a wedding (Germans from Russia) and getting to taste "kuchen" at that wedding.  Well, Remrafdn, here is a recipe from the heart of "Kuchen Kountry"…the Hebron, Beulah, Hazen area I am pretty sure.  I got it from a good friend who has cooking cousins in Beulah and I think that is where it came from.   It is called "Kuchen Bars" and it is easy to make. When you see what goes into it you will know why it tastes so good!!!!

Kuchen Bars:    for the bottom of a 9" X 11 -12" pan(cake pan):   1/4 cup shortening/  1/4 cup butter/  1 tsp vanilla/ 1/2 cup sugar/  1 egg/ 1 Cup flour/        Beat butter and shortening, sugar, 1 egg and 1 cup flour with a mixer.  Spread in the cake pan (grease it first)   Add a layer of fruit:   apple slices, blueberries, rhubarb, peaches —your choice.(you can use canned peaches and frozen berries if you wish or fresh, in season)            Mix filling ingredients:   1 3/4 cup cream (not half and half…CREAM/   1/2 cup sugar/   4 eggs/ 1 TBS flour;  pour filling over fruit layer and sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar.   Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes or untill an inserted knife comes out clean.

These Kuchen bars are sooooooooooooo    good and reading the recipe (one and three fourths cup of real cream) you can understand why!!!   My friend is "required" to bring these Kuchen bars to every potluck we participate in!!!

Whoops!  I have to do the "pretend phone conversation" on a separate blog….I do not have my "research materials" at hand but will get them pronto and add another blog!!!

I just read some comments on blogs and it triggers something I have to say—-even though I have already blogged at length one time today.  When I blogged about "language manglement" I got several comments from readers and one made me think about the subject of what students are capable of doing to teachers and substitute teachers—–especially substitutes!!  

When I was a young thing and my classmates were also young and foolish, we always had one lady who subbed in our English classes all the years we attended high school.  She was a sweet, gentle, very intelligent lady in our town and had been an English teacher (I am sure a very good one) in her younger years before she married and raised her children as a stay- at- home mom, as they all did in those days.   Apparently there was no such thing as a teachers’ plan book to follow because whenever Mrs. W showed up as a sub, she would ask US what we were supposed to do that day.  The answer was always the same:   It is LIBRARY DAY….we are supposed to spend the hour in the library!  And she believed us so off to the one- room school library we would go… much to the consternation of the stern librarian whose first name was Gladys.  Gladys could kill you with a look at 50 paces but we did not let that deter us from enjoying our Library Day that we had so recently invented for Mrs. W.   We did not have a lot of books and the one room library was very small indeed.  I remember a lot of really OLD books sitting on dusty shelves like they had been there since about 1920 when the school was built.   One time we chose our victim and it was Vonnie…when she prepared to sit down at a table, some chosen nasty person whipped the chair out from under her and she sat down….hard…on the floor leading us to nearly choke on our own juices while she jumped up red-faced to take revenge on whoever had done this to her.  Gladys was staring bullets at us but we somehow maintained our "dignity" and went on "browsing" the dusty books on the shelves.

My sons had another trick in their time.  Two of them had the same social studies teacher and this man had a slight speech peculiarity….he could not say the word "railroad".  He said "vrel vroad" and the students would do anything necessary to get him to talk about railroads.  It worked most of the time since the kids got really skilled at introducing the subject of railroads when they asked questions.  It never failed to put them into giggle fits hidden behind their clenched fists and somehow the teacher never knew he was being "had".

Another teacher (shared by two sons) had hearing loss in the extreme high ranges of sounds. Students found out about this, naturally, and when the class was supposed to be reading a lesson , one "cracked pot" (always one Class Clown in the bunch) would begin to make high, screechy, barely audible sounds.  Of course Mr. —-   did not hear them but the students did— causing much convulsive and desperate suppression of the giggles they could barely hold back.  Once, after much high and hilarious squealing sounds emanating from the Clown, my son and the boy who sat next to him, could not hold it anymore and began to laugh out loud uncontrollably.  They were kicked out of class and sent to the Principal’s office where they told the truth about what had happened, (without naming the High Pig Squealer) and were sent back to class with a note that they had been duly disciplined although they had not been!

My first and second son always told of how the classes they were in could always kill a math class for an entire class period.  All they had to do was ask Mr.M a question like "Do you think Valparaiso will make the Sweet Sixteen next week?"   The sports-crazed Mr. M would immediately take the bait and from there,,more and more questions arose about the possibilities of some sports action about to occur or one that had already occurred. The teacher would always look at his watch at the end of the hour and rage, "you kids made me waste a whole hour" which is of course, exactly what they had done so successfully.

My brother in law had a great story about his days in school choir where he was an outstanding singer and the lowest best bass voice one could ever hear.  The choir director at the time was an extremely irritable lady who could not keep things in order at all, especially among the tenors and basses.  There was also, at that time, a high school Principal who believed in the emphasis on being the kids’ "Pal" and as Mr. P. walked by the choir room, he saw my brother in law and waved to him.  My brother in law waved back and Miss Prissy-Face immediately kicked him out and sent him to —–you guessed it….the same Princi-PAL who had just waved a greeting into the choir room.   The meeting in the office was not exactly serious, as you can well imagine, and my brother in law returned to class pretending he was chastened to the core.  Fortunately, he was never a truly bad kid so he did not take advantage of his Pal-ship with Mr. P who did this a lot… and did not make it through too many years as principal in the school, understandably.

Kids can hone in on any weakness they detect and usually will take it to the max until some wise teacher figures out how to put a stop to it once and for all.  Unfortunately, substitute teachers are often the butt of the fun and can do nothing to stop it.

My youngest son, in elementary school, had a substitute teacher who had just finished her coursework for elementary education and came in to the classroom with a bright sunny "I -will- try- all- my -class -strategies- today"  mind set.  She immediately passed out nametags and had the kids write their names on the tags which they were to wear that day.  Of course the first thing they did was think up a totally  new name for themselves so the day was spent hearing "Oscar" or "Clyde" or "Hilda Ann"  being called on.  The kids couldn’t remember what they had written so they had to check their name tags constantly to much stifled hilarity.  It was one of the best days ever, my son reported later.  Poor lady..I still feel sorry for her when I think about it.  Shenever did catch on to what they had done with the nametags.

One of today’s letters to the editor (Iris Herman Hoglund) caught my eye immeditately and it also triggers memories of winters past just as Bob Lind’s January 20 essay did for Iris. The topic in both cases was what winters were like "back in the good old days"…apparently days stretching back into times anywhere from the 1920s up thru the ’40s and ’50s. 

Iris’s letter mentions several familiar themes, but the one that caught my eye was the long brown cotton ribbed (read "ugly") stockings that girls wore in the good old days.  As Iris said, girls were not allowed by the society of the time to wear jeans or slacks…only snowpants over your other clothes, or later, for me, a pair of slacks pulled on under your skirt!  Getting out of such garb in a crowded school hallway by your locker was fairly dicey as the boys were always on the alert for a glimpse of slip or (God forbid) your underpants! Some things never change, do they, but teenagers in those days did excercise a lot more self control about such matters.  If they couldn’t get a peep by the lockers, there was always the Wards’ or Sears’ catalogs’ ladies’ lingerie pages that would speed up your pulse . Or the old copies of National Geographic that featured topless native women from Africa….in living black and white.  What a bunch of Peeping Toms we had to be back in the Old Days!

But I digress….I started out thinking of the winters I remember from my childhood and teenage years and also the books I have read by authors from this region who recorded such winters in their writings.  Three favorites from vastly different times that have winters as a definite side setting, and in once case… are the main theme… are 1. GIANTS IN THE EARTH by Ole Rolvaag   2. THE LONG WINTER by Laura Ingalls Wilder   and  3. THOSE DAYS  by Richard Critchfield.  All three are definitely set in our part of the world—-pioneer South Dakota and small town North Dakota.  All three affected me so much that I regularly re-read them or parts of them….especially in the dead of recent winters.

But winters are different now and I think metorological date would back it up.  It is not simply the reminiscences of older people who tell younger people things like "you should have lived through winters when I was a kid….we walked to school barefoot in the snow,uphill all the way through 10 foot drifts….."   Well, I am exaggerating—-a little—but those winters from the 40′s and 50′s that are in my memory WERE more severe than the ones we have had lately….excepting 1977-78 and 1996-97.  Those two recent winters were really bad!  Highway 10 was blocked more than once during both of those terrible winter seasons.

 But back to the 1940′s and 50′s…I distinctly remember playing with neighborhood kids who were older and much taller than I was at the time and one of our great joys was a vacant lot that had a row of trees on the north side of it.  Enormous drifts formed there from the many and frequent storms we had in the late 1940 years.  The tallest boys could stand up straight in the snow caves we dug out of those drifts.  We had caves with more than one "room" in them and we were diligent diggers every chance we got to play in those drifts and fashion our "snow forts" and "snow caves".   These were also the times that outerwear was mainly made from heavy woolen fabrics….no lightweight wind-breaker materials like we have now.  My snowpants would get so heavy from the clinging snow that I could barely walk.  Our boots were either black rubber pull-ons  or the infamous "4-Buckles" and all of them were pulled on over our shoes….there was no room for warm woolen socks…just your ordinary socks and shoes covered by the rubber "overshoes". Everyone wore those rubber overshoes….everyone’s mother was at the door inspecting your outerwear before you walked to school in the frigid mornings ( a lot of folks did not even start up their cars in December and January if it was a really "bad winter"….we walked everywhere….downtown, to school, to church, to work…most of the small towns had jobs that employed everybody who lived there…no commuting in those days.  In order to pass "mother inspection" you had to have on :  1. your long underwear(boys)  or girls needed to wear their "snuggies" (knee length underwear into which you clould tuck your long brown ribbed stockings which were anchored with your garterbelt—a snake-like garment of horrendous frustrations when you tried to untangle it every morning. Girls also needed to be wearing their "undershirt"..like a tank top for warm weather, but sleeved for winter  2. your warm flannel shirt and corduroy pants or your blue denim overalls (boys) or your sturdy long sleeved "school dress" (girls)  3. Your woolen snowpants  4. Your black rubber boots or 4-buckles;  4.  your heavy winter coat or jacket (woolen lined with flannel)   5. warm woolen winter head scarf (girls) or woolen cap or leather helmet cap with ear-flappers (boys)  6. warm mittens, sometimes two pairs at once  6. long wool scarf to wrap around your face.     If you looked like a woolen-clad  Tibetan Yeti, you were acceptable and you could then walk to school carrying all your school stuff in your arms…no backpacks or bookbags then either.  I disrespectfully "kicked" my algegra book to school along the icy streets in my freshmen year when I came close to failing my first class ever , due to the unsolveable mysteries of algebra (for me).   When you got into school, the elementary building had old fashioned "cloakrooms" where we all had to take off our "cloaks" in each other’s presence.  The cloakroom reeked of wet rubber, wet mittens, which went on the "univent" or the steam radiators in the classroom.  As we aged, the girls learned that if you could get your long brown socks wet on the way to school or during recess, the teacher would make you take them off and hang them over the radiators.  Joyfully, we clumped around in our brown oxfords, BARE-LEGGED during the day.  But the smell of the drying brown socks was sometimes enough to make you feel like vomiting….there were no convenient automatic washers and dryers then either, so socks

got worn, sometimes a week at a time in the bigger families where doing laundry in the winter was truly problematic…and perhaps you only had ONE pair.    I can still smell those drying brown stockings if I think about really hard!   The smell of wet wool was also prevalent in our classroom.  I know how shepherds must feel when it rains on their sheep…Pee-ewwww!!!

The ultimate joy of winter back then was when it began to end in March and enough melting would occur so we could test the puddles with our black rubber boots.  Just east of our schoolhouse(s) (elementary and high school) there was a drainage ditch that ran thru our town…a wide open ditch with a bridge over it that most of us had to cross when we walked home.  How nobody drowned in that ditch is still incredible to me.  We hung over the bridge railing to watch the mad rush of the snowmelt coming from north of town and making its way to the river on the south edge of town.  The drainage ditch was lined with the most wonderful willow trees on one side and by a gravel road on the other side.  I can remember playing and climbing those willows in the fall or when spring came and the drainage ditch went dry.  I have even dreamed about that watery ditch and those willow trees…the trees seem Edenic in my dreams and  once again I climb into them and sit in the green transparent draperies of the willow branches…looking out at the world thru a soft green haze.  It is one of my warmest and most pleasant memories of childhood.

Winters truly run in cycles, as do other seasons….hot summers, rainy summers, cold summers, mild winters, winters filled with cold and many blizzards.  We seem to be be in a relatively milder winter cycle since 1997 but we still have days like today when the wind chill is a dangerous, killing thing for anyone who is not properly dressed and is out in it. The cold wind chills will keep me inside today and probably bring on either of frenzy of reading or….a bread baking frenzy which often hits me on such days as we have today. I should go find THE LONG WINTER and THOSE DAYS and read from my favorite chapters. I might not have time for the bread if I do that!!!!    But the warmth of the indoors will make looking out at the wind-tossed trees cozy and nestle-ey.  I have two warm fleecy blankets and 2 warm 100% wool lap robes….any… or all of the will keep my very comfortable as I read my "wintertime" books today.

"My mind is going 20 miles an hour" was another of Lynn Hummel’s examples of language quirks in his column I quoted in my last blog!  MY mind is going ____mph this morning…probably a good sign in a person who qualifies as a true Golden Ager!!!   ("I got all my marbles", as my wonderful mother in law used to tell us)

Every morning, I read (online) the FORUM, my e- mail, take a peek at the links on Drudge and then, with pleasure, I click on "RealClearPolitics"….by far the most complete and balanced political news, editorials, and analysis.  RCP has sources from ALL political spectrums and chooses articles that are totally relevant to the days’ politics. (it is a totally political site)  For political "junkies" like me, it is the best!!!  

Because I am still struggling with my high tech skills, especially the computer (I have avoided text messaging, blackberries and all those things the names of which I do not know).  I really like using the computer but I know very little about using it in the best ways, like putting links to articles into my blogs.  I have to get my daughter to teach me how to do this because she can link things to her own blog.

An example of the wide spectrum of political things on RCP, this morning the articles I read were titled  1. "Clintons Behaving Badly" from the San Diego Tribune;   2. "The Bush Tragedy" (essay about the failures of the GW Bush presidency)    3."Will McCain Make Peace With Conservatives?"     4."Panic of 2008" (from THE NATION)    5. "So Much For Hill’s Big Asset".      A few of the sources, representing both Liberal and Conservative views are  THE NATION,   NEW YORK TIMES, WASHINGTON POST, L.A. TIMES, THE GUARDIAN (Britain’s leading liberal paper).  All of these sources line up under the banner of Liberal.               WASHINGTON TIMES,  WEEKLY STANDARD, WALL STREET JOURNAL all represent more conservative views.  BLOOMBERG is a notable economic media outlet.   These are just a few of the sources that were represented this morning.   The RCP site also includes all the most recent polls, if you are checking polls on candidates.       If you are interested in political things, I highly recommend RealClearPolitics as a site for political junkies!!!

Tonight President Bush delivers his final "State of the Union" message.  I wonder what he will say?  His first State of the Union message was very inspiring and full of great national goals.  His second or third one dealt with the necessity of invading Iraq and the infamous "intelligence" that Saddam had gotten "yellow cake" from an African nation—a necessity for develping nuclear  armaments.  And then things really went "south" for his administration. I voted for George Bush and now I am so disillusioned;   the issues that bother me most are the invasion of Iraq;  the border insecurity and Bush’s unwillingness to stop the inrush of illegals;  and the huge deficit he leaves the U.S…..not the first President to do this but all of them were wrong to operate on deficit spending.  We are greatly harmed by all of these issues, in my opinion.  However, I must say positive things about Dubya also.  I firmly believe the reason we have not experienced another attack by terrorist is due to their (terrorists) knowing that any such act will not go unpunished and that all our national resources for ferreting out such attackers are in high gear under Bush.  The 8 years of Bill Clinton and his careless disregard for terrorism showed up when NYC and Washington DC were attacked in Septmber of 2001.  Clinton had swept under the rug many incidents that took place overseas and in our own nation, as in the FIRST attack on the World Trade Center in 1993.  Treating terrorist attacks as if they are a problem for law enforcementdidn’t accomplish any deterrence.  The determined attack on the Taliban in Afghanistan got the attention of terrorists everywhere and they have been more or less avoiding the United States since 2001.  Spain and Britain and France have not been ignored by terrorist, but they were not vigilant and have been far too liberal in letting every Tom Dick and Harry from nations that sponsor terrorism into their countries and they have paid a price, just as we did in 2001. I give GWB credit for protecting us as a people and as a nation.  God only knows what will break loose when he leaves office!!!

Another "20 mph" issue is… should I go to my very first ever political caucus tomorrow night? I might take the plunge and attend the local one at our school building. (if it is not blowing 100 mph in the evening)

And then there is a good letter written in Sunday’s FORUM by Charlene Nelson, defending Ron Paul’s record and taking another glib letter writer to task in a most factual manner for trashing Paul on social security.  If people write letters to the editor that get published and they do not have their facts straight….someone will pounce on them and Charlene Nelson did a good job of it.

I still have "language manglement " on my mind too…..I thought of a few others in my personal aquaintances…."revelant" instead of "relevant";  "new-cue-ler" instead of "new-clear" (a common one uttered by both Presidents Carter and GW Bush and Scott Hennen as well as many others;   "Li-berry" for "library";   "step foot"  intead of "set foot" (that was in one of yesterday’s letters also!)  My teeth are grinding over these language manglements.

Once and English major and librarian, always an English major and a librarian I guess!

But I have to let my mind cool down, like an overheated engine.  I need to do a really easy crossword puzzle to calm down now!  (and eat some oatmeal)

Yes that’s right—-language MANGLEMENT…not language management!!!   I just re-edited my last blog after finding a sentence that stated:  "the wide  band of the Milky Way was night visible…"    I had been writing away about the NIGHT sky and could not quit typing "night"… so sorry and apologies to my readers who may have been confused about "night visible".    Sheesh!  Just when I think I have got it right….I spot another language manglement.

I miss reading the hands-on-newspaper of the Detroit Lakes Tribune which I always got to read before I retired; we subscribed to it in our school library and I looked forward to seeing what Lynn Hummel (The Pony Express) had to say in his weekly columns.  I read it online last night when I was having another slightly sleepless night ( for awhile) and I laughed myself silly over his column entitled " Yogi Berra isn’t alone in mangling English" Yogi Berra-isms are famous and if I had googled some I could have quoted several; the only one I remember is Yogi’s "It’s Deja Vu all over again!"  Hummel, an attorney in Detroit Lakes with a hobby and a true penchant for writing lists examples of English manglement from his own experience and from others’ accounts of the same mangling of words.  Here are some gems that I enjoyed the most:   (from Lynn Hummel’s column of January 20, 2008)

See if you can remember the REAL use of the phrases!!!

"They decided it was time to forget their differences so they buried the peace pipe" 

" I can’t figure it out.  I am absolutely stunted"

"I can just hear the committee rolling their eyes."

"It’s so weird it bungles my mind"

"He was so angry he was just vivid"

"Somebody should have told you before..life is not a ball of roses"

I thought about it but I never invasioned it would turn out like this"

"We’ve had a lot of rain down here. I suspect it’s because of El Camino"

"It was major surgery. They made an invasion from my groin to my ribs"

"It really bothers me; it’s like having an alcatraz hanging around your neck"

"Doctor, I like to ride my bike but will it do any damage to my tentacles?"

"Not much personality.  She’s cold and calculus"

Those are a few of Lynn Hummel’s examples of "Language Manglement, a la Yogi Berra. But I have a few of my own that are lodged in my memory from some time ago to one my grandson "committed" just yesterday.

I brought a pot of split pea soup into the kitchen when the grandkids and their mom were eating lunch and I told my daughter that I was going to heat up a bowl of split pea soup. Grandson "Al" said, "what kind of soup did you say, Gramma?"     I repeated it to him…split pea soup.    "Oh good" he replied, "I thought you said a bowl of Squid Pee soup." (can’t you just see it at the Campbell soup company…."Come on now Squids, let’s see you "go" in the soup cans for us!")

I also remember the one about  the guy who was discussing getting serious about settling an issue:   "He took the bull by the tail and looked him square in the eye"   (that could be a breathtaking experience)

Here are a few more from Lynn Hummel’s column:

"I could go on and on but I don’t want to expunge on this topic any longer"

"He was suspected of being a terrorist synthesizer"

"Mark Dayton is hair to the family’s fortune"  (hold it—I recall seeing a picture of former Senator Dayton that showed him to be balding)

"I don’t care to open up a keg of nails"

It’s confusing isn’t it?   It is hard to remember the original "saying" when you crack up laughing over the language manglement that occurs so often in our daily lives.

I remember a conversation with a "Dakota Farmer" magazine salesmen in our old house’s kitchen many years ago.  He was telling us about someone who was feeling fairly sad and lonely and downright discouraged.    "He really feels dispressed now"    he told us.

My personal favorite—one I heard "live and in person" came from a young woman who wastalking about a large family who really stuck together no matter what happened.

"They are really in bondage to each other" she observed…..and I could just picture Donna and James and Betty and Jess and Bill and Gramma,   and all of them….chaining each other up and getting really close!!!!

Where are you, Somerset Maugham, when we really need you?????

The full moon this week has been grand!  And speaking of grand—-on Tuesday night after dark and just as the moon was rising in the northeast, two visiting GRANDkids and I walked outside in the crisp night air and gazed at the rising moon….at first a golden disc close to the horizon and later a perfect round silvery circle higher in the heavens.  It was so light that night from the full moon that it was not easy to see the stars.  The wide band of the milky way was not visible but we did spot Orion the Hunter in the southeast sky with his starry belt and his hands held high and his legs sturdily planted in the velvety dark blue of the night sky.

Late last week I was awakened before I really wanted to get up (the Cat Alarm went off early that day….pitiful loud "meows" translated "get up!  I am lonely and want company……N—eow!" )  The blackness of the night still lay heavily and I startled when I saw the moon—-big and golden going down in the northwestern corner of our horizon. I cannot ever remember seeing the moon in that position although I am sure it has been there zillions of times since Creation.  I have just never been "up" to observe it.

I still do not have a clear understanding of the moon’s "phases"…the scientific explanation for why , after the full moon there is a respite and then suddenly we see the tiny sliver of a lemon moon in a part of the sky it was not in before as the full moon.  It moves into its half-moon phase, three-quarter phase and then once again it is rising in the east or north east as the distinctive orb of the full moon again.  The native Americans had names for the moon each month…I recently read a biography of Crazy Horse, the  chief and famous leader among the Lakota peoples.  Many monthly names of the moon according to the Lakotas were given…including the Moon of the Hunters, the Moon of the Harvest, et.al. Primitive people kept close track of the movement and position of Heavenly Bodies and were very adept at astronomical observations and weather predictions for seasons according to many things, including the heavenly bodies.

Last night I feel asleep on one of our sofas watching my precious "Monk" DVD’s that I got for Christmas.  The room was dark after the TV went off but I woke feeling  like I was lying in a pool of light…. and I was….the moon was so bright that it was like a spotlight shining into our living room about 2 a.m. when I restlessly tossed and turned searching for a more comfortable position.   Everyone needs to spend a little couch time on certain nights when sleep does not easily come….I was too tired to get up and go to a bed so I slept in the moonlight til dawn’s early light when, I noticed, the sun is coming up a lot earlier than it did in early December!    We are on our way to the Spring Equinox and I am happy to wait to see the sun set right in the middle of the horizon about March 20-21.

In the meantime I will enjoy the last of the full moon of January…..one that I am going to name the Moon of Freezing Noses and Bad Chilblains!

Bill and Hill are getting it from some of the nation’s most liberal pundits and attack dogs who recognize another pair of attack dogs when they see them!!

I was shocked….SHOCKED… to see none other than Maureen Dowd of the New York Times level the Clintons in her opinion piece on January 23, 2008. She was writing from Greenville, South Carolina.     Her opening statement included this …and I quote Maureen directly:

"If Bill Clinton has to trash his legacy to protect his legacy, so be it. If he has to put a dagger through the heart of hope to give Hillary hope, so be it.  If he has to preside in this state as the former first black president stopping the would-be first black president, so be it.    The Clintons…or the ‘two headed monster’ as the New York Post dubbed the tag team that clawed wins in New Hampshire and Nevada….always go where they need to go, no matter the collateral damage to themselves or their party.  Bill’s transition from elder statesman, leader of the party, and bipartisan ambassador to ward heeler and hatchet man has been seamless….and seamy."

And that was just for openers from the fiery red-haired Dowd who has written for the New

York Times for a long time.    She has no love or respect for the Clintons.   She stated further:

"Bad Bill has been roughing up Obama so much that Representative James Clyburn of South Carolina suggested that he might want to ‘chill it’.  On a conference call with reporters yesterday, the former Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle, a national co-chairman of the Obama campaign tut-tutted that the ‘incredible distortions of the political beast , were ‘not in keeping with the image of a former president.’  "

Mr. Daschle—right on the mark!    But why should we expect Bill to act any different??  He is a political "animal maximus extremis".  His wife, is not one to step back from a knock-em down, drag-’em-out fight either…just ask Bill about that.  He was the object of Hillary’s wrath and some lamp-flinging when they were still in the Whitehouse and the word got out about Bill’s Oval Office trysts with Monica Lewinsky and her famous thong (you remember—-THAT WOMAN he did not have sex with)     If Bill does not campaign hard and dirty for Hillary, he could be the object of heavy flying ashtrays and heavier furniture than a lamp. Obama messed with Hillary’s entitled path to the presidency and she cannot throw things at him, so she has Bill "do his thang" (that is Arkansan- speak) and let him do the

hurling at Obama… albeit it is lies, distortions and blame for what the Clintons themselves said or did.  For Bill and Hill , it is politics and life, as usual.  Get out of our way or you are going to be looking at the front of our bulldozer.  Obama has not "gotten it" yet, and seemingly won’t , so the rhetoric is going to get hotter and heavier as it goes farther along into the primary campaigns.  Obama fights back very articulately and with a lot of class and it is neat to see a younger Upstart give the Clintons "what for" .   

Our own region’s Ed Schultz made a bold statement about the Clintons in an interview on the Chris Matthews program on January 23 also.  He took both Hill and Bill to task for their tacky treatment of a "viable candidate" for the presidency.  Ed minced no words and brought up the subject the Clinton’s love to hate….Bill’s lies to the Grand Jury and to the nation about his "relationship" with Monica Lewinsky.  I do not often agree with Ed, but I nearly did a cartwheel when I heard him tell it like it is in a most direct Midwestern manner.

A writer for the NATION, one of the most liberal publications in the United States has also gone on the attack against the Clintons and their outrageous assault on Barack Obama.  Ted Kennedy and other prominent Senators have tried , privately, to get the Clintons to call off their dogs…but the word is getting out, thanks to national political bloggers and the news is out that Billary and Hillary are being "outed" by some very prominent Liberals in both House and Senate. If one googles the most recent issue of NATION, I am sure the whole article could be read online.  It is a juicy delicious piece of Liberal on Liberal journalism and I was stunned to read that one, as much as the Maureen Dowd op-ed piece.

It remains to be seen if this is one of the biggest campaign flubs in our history or if it is an unbelievably brilliant strategy to protect  The Little Woman (Hillary) and make her look more soft and sympathetic.   I am staying tuned and I hope you are also!!!!

Bemidji Mike’s blog today on "View From This Side Of The Lake" is one most of us can feel along with him…."In memory of Cody, our Dog" is the title and it is a beautiful tribute to a faithful friend of many years who was held in his master’s arms while he died peacefully as many old sick dogs do—a merciful death at the Veterinarian’s clinic.

There are countless others of us who have had the same sad goodbye ..either in a Vet. clinic or in our home when a beloved old pet passes on. There are countless others of us who have a small pet burial ground..if we are lucky enough to live in the country…a burial ground that we visit and sometimes are so foolish as to put out some old silk flowers to mark the place where a beloved animal was laid to rest.  We have that sort of plot at the foot of one of our big hills to the west of our home.  "Mac" our faithful border collie lies there;  so does "Freckles" a border collie/Australian sheepdog cross, so does "Trudi" the lively, loveable Springer Spaniel who came into our lives when our son married Trudi’s mistress; so does "Mikey" our Siamese-Heinz-57 breed barn cat.  She didn’t like to be held but she was crazy about getting petted…she just was too much of a hunter and she crossed the road once too many times.

Now Princess Kitty is left and I dread the day that she will join the others in the little burial ground.   But it will happen….pets don’t usually outlive their masters or mistresses unless the have joined the family  in the old age of the owners.  I got a notice from Dr.Sara that the Princess is due for her updated vaccinations and we will be making the trip into town to get them in a few days.  This Kitty, born in a barn, to a  feral mother, is a part of our lives and is beloved to us, just as Cody was to Bemidji Mike and his wife.  Having beloved pets is part of life in this part of the world and other parts  also, I suspect.  I remember meeting a big friendly collie who had a very Norwegian name (in Stavanger, Norway) and this amazing collie even understood the language when her owners spoke it to her!!!

Spend a little extra time today petting your cat, dog, rabbit…..whoever it is that has captured your heart at this time of your life.  They give us unconditional love and adoration in a way no human can.  And they are an important part of our familys.

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